Hi, I’m Gianluca.
I studied cultural anthropology, and I’ve always been fascinated by the different ways people live, move, and experience a place.
Rome is not only my city – it’s the environment I love observing, understanding, and sharing through these small stories.
Together with my wife Connie, we host travellers in our small hotel near the Vatican, where we enjoy meeting people from all over the world and exchanging perspectives – just as I do here in the blog.
If you ever feel like saying hello while exploring Rome, you’ll find us on our terrace as well, where every morning we serve breakfast with a view.
Gianluca
In ancient Rome, relationships between men and women were a complex dance of respect, rules, and, sometimes, mischievous glances. The roles and expectations for men and women were defined by society, but beneath the structure, there was room for flirtation, courtship, and the occasional rule-breaking. Here’s a look at what life might have been like for Roman women, how men and women interacted, and why places like the Circus Maximus were prime locations for… ahem… some Roman-style people-watching.
The Role of Women in Ancient Rome
In public life, men largely held the reins. Roman women were expected to dedicate themselves to family, home, and the management of household affairs. Wealthier women had more freedom to pursue interests and education, but even they were expected to adhere to social norms. Women were considered the “custodians” of family values, maintaining honor and order in the household.
Despite these expectations, women could still wield significant influence, especially within the family. Roman matronae (married women of high status) were respected figures and could manage household assets, oversee slaves, and even handle some financial matters. They were seen as the moral backbone of society, representing the ideals of loyalty and virtue. However, there was an interesting duality here—women had to appear modest and restrained, yet they were sometimes celebrated for beauty, charm, and wit.
Romantic Glances at the Circus Maximus
For young Romans looking to meet someone special, the Circus Maximus was as good as any dating app. The famous Roman poet Ovid, in his Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love), gives cheeky advice on how men could woo women, suggesting that the Circus was the perfect place to steal a glance or exchange a flirtatious smile. In fact, Ovid describes how a man could “help” a woman seated next to him by adjusting her toga, steadying her in her seat, or shielding her from the sun—all perfect excuses to break the ice.
One famous passage describes a strategy:
“Find her seat, sit close by, and if there’s dust on her lap, brush it off; if the wind blows her dress, gently adjust it. Show concern for her comfort—she’ll appreciate the attention.”
Here, the poet encourages men to use small, courteous gestures to capture a woman’s interest. It’s humorous to imagine the Circus, a place meant for chariot races, becoming a hotspot for flirtation and playful interactions. According to Ovid, men would use these moments to sneak a sidelong glance or exchange a smile, all while pretending their only interest was in the race!
Marriage and Romance in Ancient Rome
Marriage in Rome was often a social contract arranged to strengthen family alliances, particularly among the elite. Romantic love was not usually a priority in these unions; the focus was on family duty. However, once married, some couples did develop close bonds and mutual respect. Marital affection, though private, was not unheard of, and many Roman tomb inscriptions express genuine love and admiration.
In public, however, it was more common for married women to maintain a formal, dignified demeanor. The idea of public displays of affection was quite limited. Instead, the flirtation and humor happened in social gatherings, festivals, and, yes, even at the Circus Maximus.
An Irony of Public Life: Virtue and Visibility
Roman women, especially those of high status, were expected to embody pudicitia (modesty). Yet Roman culture also celebrated beauty and charm, and men like Ovid immortalized this in their works. There was a tension between the ideal of feminine virtue and the admiration of beauty and wit. While women of higher status were expected to maintain a sense of dignity, those at gatherings, games, or festivals often became the subject of male admiration, even if only from afar.
A Modern Takeaway: A Timeless Interest in People-Watching
The Romans, like us, enjoyed people-watching and a bit of flirtation. Public spaces served as a kind of “social stage” where men and women could observe and interact, even in an era without dating apps or chat rooms. The flirtations described by Ovid at the Circus Maximus are a reminder that human nature hasn’t changed all that much; people have always found ways to connect, admire, and appreciate beauty and charm, even within the structures of society.
At QuodLibet Bed and Breakfast, we invite our guests to experience this timeless spirit of Rome, where history, humor, and humanity blend. Whether you’re admiring ancient ruins or simply enjoying the people-watching opportunities that Rome offers today, the Eternal City has always been a place to connect, interact, and enjoy life’s subtle charms.
